Love in the Time of Toilets
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| Credit: Freepiks |
Being single for years was starting to feel like a permanent residence permit in Singletown. Then, one glorious day after work, my stomach decided to throw a surprise disco party. Public restroom, here I come! As I paid the friendly (and slightly bewildered) attendant, I couldn't help but think, "Maybe this disco won't be so solo after all."
Imagine my surprise when emerging from the porcelain throne (victory achieved!), I spot a handsome young man panting like a chihuahua after a jog. Turns out, he'd seen me enter the restroom and, well, found my "hurry in" face strangely endearing. He'd waited to make his move, but you know that awkward dance toilets force upon you? He missed his cue. So here he was, chasing after me like a lovesick marathon runner.
Charmed by his unconventional entrance (and relieved I hadn't scared him off with the disco), I gave him my number. Three months later, we were smooching like teenagers and everything was sunshine and roses... until one fateful day.
Visiting him at his place, the familiar rumble in my tummy returned. Déjà poo, as the French might say. A quick bathroom break, a triumphant flush (because of manners!).
He was taking forever to come. So, I did what any self-respecting single-for-years lady would do: I bounced back home.
Later that night, his phone call shattered the peace. Except, it wasn't a love ballad. It was a full-on opera of outrage. Apparently, my "greatest sin" wasn't the disco in my stomach, but the unforgivable crime of... not flushing the toilet!
He ranted about hygiene, etiquette, and the downfall of Western civilization (all because of one rogue flush). Before I could stammer out a defence, he launched into a dramatic aria about "disgusting women" and slammed the phone down.
Texts? Ignored. Calls? Blocked. Social media? Vanished. My love story, it seemed, had been flushed down the drain of his porcelain pride.
So, here I am, single once more, with a valuable lesson: some guys might find you charming after a bathroom break, but apparently, not all appreciate a silent exit.
I'm still wondering, but I had flushed the toilet!
©️ 2024, Kandey Alhassan. All rights reserved.
(A property of Between The Lines)
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