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Following of our meeting, it took us six more months to get things into their place. As eagerly as I was, I had long made a budget allocation for the ceremony. But what could be said about the bride’s family? I’ll opine that I had just come to over burden them. I was about to push them to chest unwarranted expenses they might not have planned at the time.
This informed the reason I believe that such a ‘privilege’ can never be amortized. It’s a goodly loan. My family and good friends also made some expenses. However, I’m not going to oil their hairs and brush. It was their rightful responsibility so they deserve mere conciliatory mention.
If you understand how marriages are conducted in Islam and in most Muslim communities, you will know that chunk of the errands, toil and moil rest on the bride’s family. They plan everything. They put things together. They hold the event. While the groom snores at home, to some extent. This is what I’m talking about. ‘They were seating their somewhere’, and I came that I’m in love with their daughter whom, they had spent wholesome resources into moulding into this appealing form. And now they have to get themselves busy just because I want to marry her. You see why I can’t be ungrateful?
Well, we sent all that which were required of us including the “leefe” (some items for the bride), the “Sadaki” (the dowry), “Kudi kai” (a token of money for the bride’s family), and something small for the “Waleema” (reception). I swear, no matter the amount of money which went into this, I take cognizance that it’s very insignificant. That money can’t do them any good. When I start to reckon the amount which went into the wedding from my coffers, I know that what the bride’s family put together outweighs mine – not in tens but thousands.
Verily, when we went for the “knocking”, I could see that the house (which became the venue for the reception) was then not tiled. But on the nuptial day it was tiled and well kept. The money alone which could go into the leveling and the procurement of goods and services for the venue to be given a facelift because of our ceremony can pay me of everything I did spend and more money will be left (abe you get the import now?). Those family members of hers who took the perilous journey from the village and cross over monstrous portholes and debilitating death traps just to come and witness the event were amazing. I was told some came a week or days prior to the event. How can we quantify these sacrifices and productive hours they lost?
Coupled with the above, there was another fear which handcuffed me. It was the format the wedding was going to take. I was, indeed, obfuscated. Those who know me know that I’m a conscious witch-hunter to extravagant weddings. Even when I have the wherewithal, I will still make sure that extravagance won’t find its head into my wedding. Not at all. Lo, the bride’s family didn’t just organize the wedding on the footing of negating extravagance, but everything was done as taught by Islam – no inter mingling of opposite sex, and the program itself didn’t travel beyond 30 minutes.
To be continued…
Story By Yours Only,
Abdul Rahman Odoi (@Big Odoi)
Edited by Hafiz Laryea
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